If you’re growing and you know it … clap your hands?

I am 28 and still no babies. Yet.  Thankful for the path God has carved for me, but not quite what my “plan” looked like 10 years ago when I packed my bags, and sought out “wide open spaces” as the Dixie Chicks told me to. I thought for sure Bible College would deliver a husband, wedding and 2.5 kids for me. Wasn’t that in the application form?  

However, I have had the opportunity to watch many of my close friends go through such. Dating. Marriage. Babies. I’ve babysat, fed, burped, cleaned up the vomit from the burping and cuddled them all with delight.

Every one of my girlfriends has carried their baby differently. Some pop right away – as though announcing “I’M PREGNANT!” to family is the internal signal to your belly to start expansion. And some of my friends haven’t really shown until the third trimester. You see them one Sunday at church and you think “what did YOU eat this week!?” Suddenly, it is very evident that the blessing of a child is on the way.

Birth. Labour. Miracle of life. Sometimes the growth starts small and then right before delivery you grow the most. Suddenly you’re being stretched, you’re uncomfortable, you can’t sleep, you pee all the time, have weird cravings and before you know it your miracle is in your hands. Remember, for me this is all theory and observation.

However, the theory remains true in life I figure. We can’t escape growth. We can’t run away from change for it is inevitable. God has a plan for each life and it requires us to risk and step out.

And the final growth, pop and push may be just before the miracle and answer from God is in your hands. It may seem uncomfortable right now, you may be peeing a lot (hee hee appropriate), but hold on – the bundle is on its way!  It may just require one final push. Your Last Stand (for now).

And what happens to your body after the miracle comes, well, I’m willing to wait and find out for myself without a whole lot of observation first!

Something Special

I found a way to be everything
I’ve dreamed of,
and I know it’s in me
that I will become
who I want to be
and I finally found it and I’m taking the long way out
Cause it’s gonna be, something special to me
Something special to me

Days go by
and I grow stronger
It takes time, but I’ll never let go
Days go by and I’ll try harder to make it mine, I know…
Something special to me
Something special to me
Something special to me

I’ve found
so many things
I’ve dreamed of
and I know it’s in me
that I will become
who I want to be
and I finally found it and I am taking the long way out
Cause it’s gonna be,
something special to me
Something special to me

More than I hoped for
More than I dreamed of
This is how it should be.
More than I hoped for
More than I dreamed of
This is how it should be

Downtown

An early summer evening walk around my city’s downtown …

Guys’ Surprise, Girls’ Delight

Every girl loves to be swept off her feet. And every girl likes a surprise now and then, admit it or not! So my sister, friend and myself had a surprise from our guys on May long…flowers, barbeque in the woods and a hike at a surprise destination. It was a great day!

Quote of the week …

“Every day is filled with creative opportunities to live with purpose and potency.”

Random musing for today

I am becoming more and more aware, or thinking about it too much, that we only get one crack at this life. How risk, taking chances and possible rejection may seem scary, but isn’t it more frightening to get to the end of one’s life and realize that you lived safely in a air-tight box of insecurity and comfort? My mind is seeking to bust out. To create something. To find a niche that no one else is doing and fully flash forward into the land of realities instead of potential. Really, a dream is only a good thought until acted upon.

I Dreamed a Dream – You Never Know What’s Inside!

This woman is incredible! British (which always adds huge intrigue for me!), cheeky and a beautiful broadway voice. Take a listen, it’ll give you shivers. And clear proof that you can’t judge a book by its cover!

In The Silence

When I am silent,  I am still thinking. It does not mean I am void of thought. I am processing. Planning. Dreaming. Creatively wondering what could be. Perhaps frustrated at current circumstances and my inability to change them. But my silence is never blank. So what makes me think God’s would be any different? I read a book recently “Troubling Deaf Heaven” about how when God seems silent, He is very much still moving, working and planning my life. His ways are definitely not my ways. I’ve heard a Matt Redman song where the chorus goes something like “You sing over me … You dance all around me, while I am unaware …” So in a season where things are changing, life is amazing, yet I could really use the audible voice of God in some areas (don’t we all wish for that?), I sit in silence and know – HE IS GOD AND I AM NOT. He is thinking. Planning. Dreaming. Dancing all around me while I am unaware.

Invisible

Last week my church had our annual Generations conference and one of the speakers, Paul Scanlon from England, spoke on a simple concept that had profound impact for me.

“Just notice people and you will reach them,” he said.

Paul shared a Starbucks story of how he commented on the mohawk of the lady serving him. They engaged in conversation and she learned, after asking what he did, that he was in the ministry. He was the first pastor to ever notice or comment on it. She felt noticed, appreciated and like someone out there, whom she didn’t expect would, saw her. Commenting on someone’s hair or shoes can open doors to relationships in a greater scope than simply trying to pound someone over the head with your beliefs ever will. Duh.  As he talked I remembered a moment a couple days earlier …

I was in the grocery store grabbing what I could before the business of the week continued. Grocery carts were bumping and people were scurrying, likely unaware of the people around them. I know I for one am usually on a focused mission when I grocery shop, as it’s not really my favourite task.  This day however I believe destiny attempted to weave into my chaos and force me to pause, and I am afraid to say I think I missed the moment and the potential impact it could’ve held.

As I grabbed milk and tried to pull my cart out of the way to the side, an older gentleman, whom in my presumption was low-income and appeared “homeless” (whatever that means) and I nearly collided. I apologized for my big cart and he clutched tighter the two items in his hands, smiled, and let me have the right of way. I cordially thanked him. I thought nothing of it until I was in another aisle moments later, scanning the rice cakes, and who should I nearly hit again but this kind-looking homeless man.

I said “We keep running into each other!” 

As he passed by me, he looked back and smiled with the look of “You noticed me.” More of a question than a statement I would say. I fumbled through some courteous Canadian jargon, we smiled, and went our separate ways.

I had a chance right there to engage with another human being who, like everyone else on planet earth, is asking “do you notice me?” We fight invisibility on a daily basis be it the clothes we wear, the car we drive, or the way we must have our story be heard around the water cooler. We, like this kind gentleman in the grocery aisle, are always asking “do you care enough to stop and notice me?”

So as Paul Scanlon talked last week about his quest for reaching people simply by noticing them and the details of their lives, my thoughts turned to this kind man, who for a moment I did notice.  Who, for a greater moment, I could’ve reached out to with love that went beyond Canadian courtesy.

 God, forgive me for just being busy.

Everything

Life gets busy. We become robotic. We go through the haze of life and sometimes fail to stop (myself totally included) to just be and enjoy our Maker. And I sit at my office and listen to a song like this and it brings things into perspective. “Everything” by Lifehouse …

Find me here
And speak to me
I want to feel You
I need to hear You
You are the light
That’s leading me to the place
Where I find peace again

You are the strength
That keeps me walking
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
You are the light to my soul
You are my purpose
You’re everything

And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be
Any better than this

You calm the storms
And You give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won’t let me fall
You steal my heart
When You take my breath away
Would You take me in take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be
Any better than this

Cause You’re all I want
You’re all I need
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want
You’re all I need
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want
You’re all I need
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want
You’re all I need
Everything, everything

And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be
Any better than this
And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be
Any better any better than this
And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be
Any better than this
Would You tell me how could it be
Any better than this