What’s love got to do with it? Well, everything.

I witnessed a wedding yesterday that was very refreshing. The groom 26, the bride 21; even the pastor stated that he’d never seen fiances so excited. He entered, followed by his groomsmen to “Hey Baby, by Buckwheat Zydeco.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzbmzHM9BuE

Waving and singing, he made as grande an entrance statement as any bride at a wedding would. This bringing laughter instead of tears. As he awaited the ladies, one in particular, he took it all in. Every family and friend attending. Every candle lit and expectant face. The groom watched. His dream. His wife-to-be was about to come down th aisle. Love. A choice.

This week I also watched, again, the movie “I Love Sam” in which Sean Penn plays a man who has a one night stand with a homeless woman only to be left to raise the daughter on his own. Having the brain of a 7 year old, eventually child-services tried to take the child away from him. Saying he’s unfit to be a father and raise Lucy. He hires, probono, the best lawyer in town, played by Michelle Pfeifer. When Lucy is taken away from Sam after chaos erupts at her birthday, she is eventually sent to a foster family in which the mother really begins to desire adopting Lucy as her own.  One night Lucy wants to escape to Sam’s house, again, and the mother decides to take her to Sam’s herself. Crying, she knocks on the door and a sleepy and stunned father answers the door. She explains to Sam that in court the next day she was going to tell the judge that “I could give her the love you couldn’t”, but now, she can’t. She’s seen the enduring and adoring love that Sam is able to give his daughter. He never gives up. He is fiercly honest. He says “I can’t do it alone. You’re the red in Lucy’s painting. Yeah, you’re the red in her painting.” The mother says she won’t tell the judge his confession, but will be there to help. Love for a young girl conquers court, past circumstances and present cases. I’d venture to say we all have someone who puts the red in our painting.

My Pastor today talked of friendship in this morning’s sermon. How a friend is honest. Speaks the truth. Loves at all times. Doesn’t judge. Is always there. I was challenged. Love in me needs to grow to widen its arms’ embrace. Screw the striving of making “love” fit into my own terms and see that it is a choice, it hurts sometimes, it fights, and it will, when all else fails, conquer all. My love needs to add the color to someone’s painting that it is so desperately missing. My love, their red. My love has everything to do with their outcome.

That Thing You Do

Sometimes life doesn’t turn out like you think it should. Plan A, B and C are suddenly skipped and you arrive at K wondering what to do next. Sometimes “the next chapter” has a different synopsis and you end it thinking “Where did that come from?” Good or bad. I am learning that taking it a day at a time, trusting the unknown to God Who knows it all from beginning to end, is much more comforting and less stressful. I was reading in my journal tonight from last October when a verse in Deut 8:6-8 stuck out to me: “God has chosen you as His very own special treasure. Simply because He loves you…” That verse meant something to me then. And in January when I had decided to go to England, He reminded me again of His promise by a random draft I found in my blog when I first created it. I had no idea where it came from, but obviously He was trying to talk to me! Tonight I re-read my journal entry from last October and I was again ever conscious of my loving Father who has a plan, loves me to bits and just wants me to delight in Him and His will.

Here is a snippet from that journal entry:

“I was eating my Lay potato chips, with dip of course, and it was like God says. I SO love you. I love the way you get this craving to snack at 10 o’clock at night….hmmm, what else would He say, to me, His daughter….

 

I love the way you color coordinate your closet. It’s that meticulous order you like that makes up bits of who you are. But there’s more. I love the way you shave your legs every day because it’s for you and no one else. No one needs to know the things you do just for you, but I see it. I adore you, my daughter. I love the way you laugh. Its like a song in my ears - I’ve made it as unique as your walk or your fingerprint. I gave that to you.

I love how when you think no one is watching, you’ll turn on the music extra loud and dance. Vacuum in hand, or my Word in hand, you dance. I gave you that jump to your step. Even when you were a little girl, you danced around, bringing pleasure to everyone who stopped to admire. Please don’t lose that spring, as the simple things that delight you, often delight Me too.

I love that when you’ve had a rough day and you feel like you can’t please anyone, you come to me first. My shoulders are big enough for your tears. I WANT YOU to come to Me. My heart aches when yours aches. If we share it, its much easier for you my daughter.

I love the way your heart breaks for my people in other countries, whom you’ve never met. I am still their Father, even though their luxury is a roof over their head. Please, use this heart to show others that their resources are given to them for a reason. Millions of my babies are dying every day and I need people to use their voices. I need you to be My hands and feet to these children I so desperately love. Don’t forget them.

The things you despise about yourself, or think absolutely unlovable, I adore. I’ve made you exactly the way I wanted. Quit wishing it away and wasting valuable time and effort on things I really don’t want you to change anyway. I love you. I love your cheekiness because it makes people laugh. I love your quietness, because sometimes people need to feel calm. I love your idiosyncrasies that you think no man could ever love. He will. Your husband is a great man. I know him well. He’s on his way, don’t worry. I’ve been writing your story for a while.

My daughter, I simply love you. I treasure you. All of you. Every wobbly bit. Every freckled bit. I love it. I delight in you. My greatest pleasure is when you delight in Me.”

 

So I say to whatever random person reads this, that that thing you do when no one is watching or cares, is adored by the One who created you. Don’t wish it away. You are His special treasure.

 

 

“Lars and the Real Girl”

To proof an 80-pg document I figured something light and cheezy would be a suitable companion for the evening.  I was surprised. I got teary-eyed. I chuckled. I was happy to see a screenplay exhibit thought and true human emotion without all the moral contradiction. Not everyone is social. Not everyone knows what to do when tragedy strikes. And not everyone knows how to get a date!

Lars is a lovable introvert who hides out in his sister and brother-in-law’s garage only to come out for his 9-5. He doesn’t allow anyone to touch him, let alone emotionally come into his life. Surprise comes to his family when he knocks on their door one night asking if his “girlfriend” can stay at their house for the night. Delight turns to shock when they realize, Bianca, is a life-size doll that Lars believes to be real.

One would expect to mock at the movie and what Lars is like - but as a viewer you are taken on a journey of human emotion and how people support one another, no matter what. Bianca is accepted into the family and community as “real” and Lars begins to open up both socially and emotionally.  His isolation is turned into friendship. 

Without telling you the whole story, Lars has a happy ending, even though Bianca “said” no to his proposal of marriage. A good twist on a story about relationships, love and the lack thereof.

See for yourself:  http://www.larsandtherealgirl-themovie.com/

 

This week’s Musings

. Pleasantly surprised that the internet guys were sufficient and friendly - even though they mentioned being homeless cable guys and threatened to sneak into my boiler room for shelter…creepy or funny?

. Excited to wear banana yellow bridesmaid dress at friend’s wedding in Jamaica this summer. WOO HOO!  Also stoked about her life with her future husband.

. Glad that “Auntie Lani” could snuggle Ethan after three months of missing his hugs and giggles!

. Wondering if something is inherantly wrong with my coffee perk - as every cup tastes and smells like black licorice. Is that normal Proctor Silex? May need to make new purchase…

. Missing big city adventures. I’m hankering for some live theatre, bright lights and some water!

. Can’t wait to have my Jetta next week!

. Life is very good though I don’t always understand or have control.

. Your musings for this week?

Landed Again

Arriving in my homeland, Canada, proved to be almost as surreal as going to England three months ago. Weird to walk up my own front steps - and see the perrenials I planted last summer blooming little purple flowers. Weird to look into my own fridge - completely bare. Weird to sleep in my own bed and wake up to the bright yellow walls and calm of Springbrook. I am back. I am jetlagged. I am trusting God completely. It was an amazing ride. Now the work of it all begins. For what is the pursuit of a dream if it doesn’t change you?!

Good-bye London, until we meet again…

My feet found the train station for the final time in Chelmsford, England. The lady on the speaker phone has become like a distant friend, her voice ever so familiar: The next train to depart from platform one is the 0927 to London Liverpool Street. I had just begun a new book “The Five People You Meet In Heaven”, but still chose to people watch from time to time. I had no plan. No real agenda for the day. I am finding that works quite well - then I am not disappointed and much less stressed! I booked my ticket for the evening show of Lord of the Rings. The best seat I’ve had yet.
The sun was shining in Leicester Square, Trafalgar Square and even at Buckingham Palace where I happened upon right when the marching band arrived from St. James Palace - their daily route. There was a great sandwich place down Buckingham Palace Road, so I found it again and ordered a Chicken Escalope Panini. I need the recipe! Happy sigh.
A double decker bus, bottled water and another man asking for pence later - I found myself at Oxford Street - leading to Hyde Park. Acres of lush, afternoon joggers, and lovers relaxing in the shade of the green - Hyde Park is one of my favorite spots. The parks are really the only place in London you can escape London. The smells. The business. You’re forced to stop and sigh. Happy sigh again.
Since the day was so beautiful, I didn’t want to hide inside. I made my way across the river Thames to southbank, drawn by musicians and artists trying to make a living by their talent. Or trying to make a living anyway! After a nail through the nose, Charlie Chaplin look-a-like and a great acoustic guitar player - oh and chatting about the big game that night with Manchester vs. Chelsea with a local - I was completely satisfied with what London had delivered that day. And still had my show to go to!
Lord of the Rings. Good choice Lani. Drury Lane. Close to Covent Garden - the theatre that now stands, after centuries of rebuilds, has been there since 1812. Georgian. Gold leaf and crystal chandalier. You enter the auditorium and the stage and box seats are covered in tree arms and wooded out like you are in the forest. Nice affect. Before 7:30 comes, you enter the land of the Shire, while hobbits prance around the main floor eating apples and trying to catch fireflies. Brilliant. The ensemble of hobbits does a shire dance - much like an irish jig really - and the play begins. I think part of me is a hobbit - loves to eat and dance! Ha ha. The show was a stage and costume spectacular sight. You really felt like you were in the shire, then in the land of the elves and then at Moridor. In the final act it seemed as though the play had ended with the house lights up and a hush over the crowd. We didn’t know weather to stand or clap or sit. But before you knew it, out from the sides appeared orcs! Screams and shouts and drool from the orcs trying to get a rise out of the audience were everywhere! I kept telling myself, don’t look straight at them and they’ll do you no harm! My seat was right where the entered so I was thankful. Had I had a date, I’d have been clinging! Nice touch again. Frodo, Pippin and Gollum were all in the original cast of LOTR in Toronto. So they’ve essentially created the stage characters they played last night. Happy sigh.
The train ride home was accompanied by three young women who’d had much to much to drink and found everything a roaring hoot. I just closed my eyes and thought, this was my last train ride home.
London again, never failed to delight. I will return again, one day.

Interview with a Palace Guardsman

Please, come in and stand. Thank you for coming today. We just have a few questions to begin.

1) Are you generally a happy mate, and do you like to smile? Correct answer:  NO.

2) Do you enjoy being pointed at like a bird in a cage and posing with over-ezuberant North American tourists? Correct answer:  Yes, I love being watched, analyzed and knowing I’m in pictures across the world because of it.

3) Do you enjoy standing for long periods of time, to the point that you feel like your feet are going to need special attention at an early age? We have a lovely orthodics health plan here. Correct answer: I get a buzz out of the tingling sensation that my feet are going to fall off. Yes.

4) Do you like to dress up frequently in showy red costume that can be recognized several blocks down Westminster? Answer: No, but am willing to give it a go.

5) And finally, do you love the Queen and will you promise to serve your country proudly until the day you die or we fire you? The Queen? I thought I was here for the debut of  Moulin Rouge in London? Wrong answer.   Correct answer: I love England and will fight to the death for this island. Or stand to the death.

If I Could Sit With You…

To anyone and everyone who has shared my blog journey over the past few months - thank you for taking the time to read my random thoughts and travel stories!  I return to Canada on friday and am excited about the future and what’s in store. Never before has NOT having a plan been peaceful and exciting. I know God is going to continue to take me on a great journey and I am loving the ride.

If I could sit down with you on a sofa and sip a cup of tea right now with you,

this is what I’d say to you…

. Believe. Believe in Jesus, for He is real Life. Believe in the power of a dream. Believe in yourself and that you were made for greatness. Believe in others and their potential. Just believe.

. Never forsake what you know in your heart you want because it is hard. Of course it is!

. Don’t spend your life wishing you were someone, something or somewhere else. Be all YOU.  All YOU. All NOW.

. Laugh when it’s inconvenient. Dance in parking lots even if you don’t have rythym.  See the world for it helps you see yourself.

. Don’t get your knickers in a knot over small stuff. Things will always change. Yes, I said knickers

And we’d need another cup of tea for the next chapter. Another day another sofa. Your house next time?

Aye, Irish Moments

- Meeting our third cousin for the first time and feeling indeed that we were family.
- Seeing the shipyard where Titanic was built and imagining the lost who sailed from that sea on their last voyage.
- Loving the brilliant warm weather all week! Very unexpected!
- Eating Puffs cereal our first morning while looking out the dining room window onto dairy cows grazing across the street. How calming is that?!
- Dancing in the cold Irish sea and wishing I could take it home with me!
- Noticing the plethera of tattooed men; much more than in England. Or perhaps everyone in England just hides the ink?
- Walking the rope bridge on the northern coast of Ireland. I am not a fan of heights!
- Wishing for a PS I Love You moment. Should I just pretend to be lost?
- Laughing when we met another cousin and tried to figure out how he was related. Rhonalyn said “So are you our third cousin once removed or what?” He responded “No just cousin. We don’t remove people here.” What does removed mean anyway!? He also sported some tattoos.
- The greasy-spoon stand selling Fish and Hips. Or maybe it was the fish’s hips…
- Sunset on the coast. And God never ceasing to amaze me at His creation. The world is a wonder.
- Deciding to “wing it” down to Dublin with bags packed and no accomodations booked. A B&B was provided and proved perfect. I am learning a “plan” isn’t always necessary. Ok, TRYING to learn.
- The Wicklow Mountains. You should go.
- Doors of Dublin. Oh so colorful. I want a red door on my house!
- Finding the perfect traditional Irish music, yet again, at the last minute. YEY for Galway Girl! I wanted to get up and jig but would’ve been the only one. Oh well. I jigged in my heart.
- My leprachaun travel-partners. You guys were good for a laugh!
- Really, the trip of a lifetime.

Ba Ba Black Sheep

Living in the UK, you could say I’ve seen more sheep in the past two months than I have in a lifetime. And I’m a farm girl! But now, the little white dots blanketing the countryside grazing carelessly holds new meaning.
My sister, cousin and I attended Hillsong London a couple weeks ago and the guest speaker that morning was a Texan, Priscilla Shirer, author of ““Discerning the Voice of God: How to Know When God Speaks”. She gave several points on how to know when you’re hearing from God, and that as Christians we should EXPECT to hear from Him. Speaking from John 10 where Jesus relates Himself as the shepherd over His sheep, Priscilla shared about that time in history and how a shepherd would take care of his sheep.
Several shepherds would bring their flock into one grazing ground, so all the sheep from different owners would night together. One shepherd would stay with the flock guarding the gateway out, while the others found another place to sleep for the night. In the morning, each shepherd would return and call to his sheep. Now this is the interesting part. There could be 500 sheep in the grazing pen, and only the ones who BELONGED to the shepherd would respond to his call. They would come running to their shepherd knowing He was moving them on. They knew his voice.
What really got me, was when she quoted John 10:14 when Jesus said ” I KNOW my sheep.” You see, the shepherds in those days knew each sheep individually. He had spent time with them. He knew their personalities. I could picture in my mind the shepherd sitting on the hillside with a little white sheep between his legs, nestled securely in his care. They would play and the shepherd would tease the little lamb with games. He would run his strong hand over the lamb’s scars; perhaps a wound from where it tried to escape. I pictured the shepherd hushing carefully to the lamb that it would be ok. It would heal. The shepherd would watch the lamb and how he responded to his voice; what worked and what didn’t. Because of the devoted time the shepherd spent with this little lamb, the lamb knew to trust his caretaker. He knew that the shepherd loved him and only had his best at heart.
Before I knew it, my eyes filled up. Embarrassed in this huge auditorium of Londoners, I wiped the tears away. JESUS KNOWS ME. He has watched me. He knows how to speak to me and what doesn’t work, because of my personality or stubborness. He knows the wounds we all try so hard to hide are there for a reason and wishes us to learn from it. Isn’t that really every human beings greatest desire? To be known?
Suddenly, as that’s often how God speaks, I knew in my heart that God really did know all these flustered thoughts in my heart of what the future holds, who I am, what I desire - He knew it all. In my vain and sometimes desperate attempt to express “the real me” - the tears turned to relief and worship. With my hands raised at the last song, I was so thankful. I was known.